Did you, like me, fail to stock up on loo roll ahead of the loo roll drought of 2020, only to be met with empty shelves when you’re down to the last square?
Don’t panic, it’s terrible for your digestion. And fortunately the world’s preppers have thought of everything, including the possibility that man and womankind might eventually run out things to wipe their bottoms on. In such circumstances, it’s time to turn to nature.
So rather than popping down to your local supermarket, why not head out for a forage instead? Here are a few things to add to your panic stockpiling list…
- Rocks, preferably smooth and oval shaped.
- Soft pinecones.
- Leaves: the non-irritant and non-toxic kind; mullein leaves are a reall luxury!
- Smooth sticks: you can smooth them off like chopsticks by rubbing them together.
- A piece of cloth (essentially a hankerchief for your bottom).
- Clumps of grass.
- A snowball (apparently, I have never tried this).
- Moss: choose your texture wisely and look for durability.
- A bottle of water: don’t use the actual bottle, use the water inside.
- Tree bark: the thinner and more flexible, the more comfortable it will be.
- Pine needles: still attached to the branch. (It turns out a pine forest is a good place to be when you’ve gotta go).
Poo responsibly guys!
– Hati
Hati Whiteley 