When you take up running, there’s one thing you dread more than anything else: going for a run.
But there is another option, you might consider not going for a run instead.
Not sure how? Fear not, we’ve got your back with this three-part guide to taking the pressure out of making plans.
Part 1: Intention
The key to avoiding running is maintaining your intention to run. Without that intention you no longer classify as a runner, but with it you can hold yourself up there with Nicky Spinks and Usain Bolt. You can still small talk about your running goals at work Christmas parties and extended family gatherings, and say things like ‘Yeah I was thinking of doing the Bob Graham next year but I’m coming back from an injury’ or ‘weeelll at the moment I’m looking for a partner for the OMM but we’ll see’. (These goals should not be time dependent).
Don’t forget to prove your intention to run. Write it in your diary, tell your friends that you can’t make brunch and set 3 alarms called ‘go for a run’ on your phone for the best effect.
Step 2: Preparation
Convince even yourself that you’ll see it through by preparing all your gear for the event. Charge your Garmin watch, dig out your high-vis and lay out your running gear the day before.
Preparing for a run is about preparing your body too – carb-load on the eve and fill yourself with isotopic drinks in the morning.
Step 3: Procrastination
Let the fun begin! Get creative but remember that procrastination works best when structured.
Start with unnecessary preparatory tasks that imply you’re still going out, such as:
- Plotting your route,
- Re-lacing your running shoes,
- Changing your clothing according to the weather,
- Setting performance goals, such as pace, hill reps or cadence,
- Having a high-energy snack, then observing the need to wait a bit to exercise after snacking.
Next you can move onto the unrelated yet important household tasks, here you are lowering expectations but not quite ruling out your run:
- Put a wash on, hang laundry or put laundry away – it won’t take long and really needs doing,
- Clean the toothbrush holder, it’s been on your list for ages,
- Do the washing up, it’s really piling up,
- Buy those Christmas present ideas for your in-laws before you forget them.
To hammer the nail in the coffin of your run, allow yourself to be absorbed into a time-consuming task that simply cannot wait. If you need to unsubscribe from a service, propose actions for a 5-year plan to your boss or drop into the minor injuries ward, this is the time to do it.
And when it comes to heading out the door, all of a sudden you just don’t have time for that worthwhile workout you’d planned.
Congratulations, you’ve successfully not gone for a run!
– Hati
Hati Whiteley 