In a summer of instructing I have discovered a dislike for the phrase ‘there’s no such word as can’t!‘.
Kids say this to each other a lot (probably because it’s been said to them a lot). This means rarely a session goes by that an eleven year old, suspended half-way up a climbing tower or wedged in a V-Diff crack doesn’t exclaim ‘I can’t do it!‘, only to be hit square in the ego with a condescending ‘there’s no such word as can’t!‘.
Where do I begin? For a start, can’t is a word.
But maybe I shouldn’t begin there, because this has nothing to do with the dictionary. It’s about rejecting the notion that people are unable to do things. It means that you’re failing because of a lack of effort rather than something just being beyond your limits, and that success comes down to your attitude rather than your abilities.
I’m no psychological guru, but to me this seems like a terrible saying to be passing onto young people.
Firstly, sometimes you just can’t do something. No matter how optimistic I’m feeling I can’t swim the channel, I can’t recite all the countries in the world nor identify their flags, and despite trying all day I couldn’t do the first move of Not to be taken away. Maybe if I put in some effort I could do it one day, but for now I simply can’t.
Secondly, as much as it’s nice to succeed, we can’t succeed all the time. It’s important to learn to fail well (which is much harder than succeeding well). Cherish putting in all your effort in and not quite making it this time, maybe next time? Sure you can have a bit of a paddy first, but then accept it, learn from it and move forward. It’s that last bit that counts.
Finally, how can we use blanket parameters to define success for everyone? For some it’s a big day when they just have the confidence to take part, to tie in and get a foot off the ground. For others topping all the routes is no biggie… We’ve all got different (and often complimentary) skills; variety is the spice of life.
Anyway, there is such a thing as can’t. So there. Try as you might, sometimes you just won’t be able to do something. But try as you might, that’s the important bit.
– Hati
Hati Whiteley 