The family WhatsApp. Everyone has one, some have a couple, others even have exclusive fringe groups for critiquing the main group. There are 5 people in mine, and between us we can send upwards of 40 messages a day. Just in case anyone was wondering, it’s called The Witty Whiteleys.
Each family WhatsApp is different – ranging from 40+ messages a day to the occasional practical public announcement – but they all share a common quality: they’re an obligation, and not always a positively viewed one. In fact, as much as you might want to get out, leaving a family WhatsApp is akin to estrangement.
But why leave? Actually, I kind of get it… You spread your wings, you move out, you finally seize your independence… and all of a sudden you’re thrust back into a space where you’ve got to listen to your family discuss the weather, wifi settings, what’s that recipe for lasagne, the best method for plastering corners, what time does your flight land and what’s the traffic like on the A47… All that less-than-exciting stuff you thought you’d gotten away from when you moved out is delivered directly to your phone with two little blue ticks that tell everyone when you’ve read them.
But if you really think about it, would you rather be in or out? So the traffic on the A47 isn’t 100% relevant when you’re sat at work in Sheffield and maybe you don’t even like lasagne (the horror), but it’s nice to be present for those conversations. After all, isn’t that what being a family is about?
Us kids haven’t lived with our parents for 10ish years, but we can still share stuff from the day-to-day when we don’t have time for an extended phone call. The Witty Whiteleys is where we check in and let each other know we’re okay. It’s where my sister and her wife are keeping us updated on their travels in the US and where my mum lets us know how Nan’s doing. I use the group to show my family what I do to stay safe when on climbing trips, and it’s also where I go for advice about grown up stuff like car insurance. Most importantly, it’s where my dad shares selfies of him and Purdy, the family cat.
I think that’s why WhatsApp has had such a profound effect on how families communicate. We’ve reinvented our family homelife in a virtual space. Through this we share experiences and have closer, more meaningful relationships with one-another, despite living miles apart.
So, although sometimes I pick up my phone and have 49 messages about DIY that I don’t fully understand, I’d much rather be included than out of the loop. I’m a definite remainer in my family WhatsApp group – not that I have any choice about it anyway…
Also nothing brightens up your day like a dad + cat selfie.
– Hati
PS. Happy Father’s Day!
Hati Whiteley 