I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix lately (exercising my right to be a slob).
What ‘watching a lot of Netflix’ actually means is ‘shouting at characters in apocalypse dramas because they have no common sense whatsoever and make terrible decisions’.
What strikes me is that most issues in zombie apocalypse films could be quickly resolved with a considerately-packed and appropriately-sized backpack.
So for those who are feeling increasingly worried about impending doom and the eternal undead, here’s a recommended kit list that should help you prepare for smooth-sailing zombie apocalypse.
But first…
4 rules to live by when packing for the undead
- Pack light: take the essentials, the bare minimum, if you can loot it from a deserted post-apocalyptic supermarket you probably shouldn’t carry it.
- Don’t take clattery things: jewellery, your trad rack, cow bells, electric toys with fun sound effects that could accidentally go off probably won’t be helpful in an apolcalypse.
- Put some thought into your pack-type: something slimline with minimum tassles and exterior buckles/attach that could catch on things when you’re running for your life. Look at fast and light alpine style bags but opt for more subdued colours.
- Make sensible nutrition choices when browsing deserted supermarkets to ensure that you still have a healthy diet.
Zombie apocalypse essential kit
- A weapon for bashing with: baseball bat, melon hammers if you have them. Such weapons are quiet, do not require consumables and let’s be honest, no one really knows how to use a crossbow.
- Large water bladder with hydration hose to wear in your bag and 1 – 2 refillable water bottles that can be squished down when empty for filling up on the go.
- Inline water filter.
- 1 – 2 small emergency flares for distracting zombies. You can always pick up more when you’re planning something big.
- Energy bars for emergencies.
- Medium-sized first aid kit including scissors.
- Multi-tool (with tin opener, tweezer and knife attachments).
- Torch, preferably solar powered or rechargeable with solar battery.
- Binoculars.
- Sleeping bag and lightweight mat with repair patch.
- Lighter or flint.
- Waterproof jacket (it never rains in US zombie films, but let’s bear in mind the UK climate)
- Pencil and paper.
- Hand sanitiser – you don’t want a dodgy stomach on the run.
There you go! Now you can enjoy binge-watching apocalypse shows on Netflix with the smug satisfaction of knowing that you’re well more prepared than they are.
– Hati
Hati Whiteley 